I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
