.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
