sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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