Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
