It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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