i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
