Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
