so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
