May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just googled if crying burns calories
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Randomize
