I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
