your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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