Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
