My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Randomize
