i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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