I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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