And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
