No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
