I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize