do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
