Tell her she can't have a vagina
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
