I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want to walk on stilts...naked
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
