just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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