Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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