My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
