Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
