Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
