oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
