We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
send nudes
from the living room?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
