But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
