Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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