Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i came on her dog
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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