My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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