The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
