Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
