i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
