Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My balls are so social today.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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