Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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