Yo dont text me then not text me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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