his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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