I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who died my cat blue again?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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