maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
