$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
