Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
