Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
