I wanna bring you to show and tell
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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