Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
