Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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