Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
