He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
