Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
